Betty Trix

barefootdramaturg:

jewlesthemagnificent:

oldtobegin:

velveteenrabbit:

englishpracticenow:

commonly misused words - learn the proper usage of these words to get your way up to any English proficiency exams - IELTS, TOEFL, GRE, etc.

2,000 notes.

JERKING OFF TO THIS

OH GOD LESS VERSUS FEWER THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PERSONAL GRAMMATICAL VENDETTA.

By accident. On purpose. Never on accident.

yourbrobrooke:

sockmonkeyrenegade:

nyxocity:

sungodphoebus:

i’M READING ABOUT GOATS IN MYTHOLOGY/FOLKLORE AND I FOUND OUT IN THE MIDDLE AGES GOATS ‘WERE SAID TO WHISPER LEWD SENTENCES IN THE EARS OF SAINTS’ AND I JUST

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NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE

I was wondering when people were going to realize that “you breed with the mouth of a goat” means “you talk dirty when you fuck.”

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE OH MY GOODNESS

edwardspoonhands:

gemmacorrell:

(via Four Eyes Comic Strip on GoComics.com)

WORRY STUMPS!!!
why isn't it a problem when m.i.a raps? why is it ok to have chicano rap/asian rap/ etc? But as soon as white people try it you all lose your shit?
Anonymous

jayjsupremacy:

vivalavougue:

elegantly-tasteless:

kyssthis16:

That’s so cute and simplistic. Did you work on this question all week or…? No one cares when white people try to rap. We care when they don’t represent their authentic selves or are plain untalented. We don’t care that Eminem is white. He’s not out her performing sonic blackface, despite being from the Detroit Metro Area. Yelawolf sounds like a southern rapper because… he’s a southern rapper. Homeboy is from Alabama. His voice is his. Hell, we didn’t even care about Bubba Sparxxx. Homeboy is from Georgia. Plus, Ms. New Booty is still a bop, so.. *shrugs*

Iggy literally sounds like something out of Malibu’s Most Wanted. Protip: that movie was not a documentary. This sheila is claiming she’s in the “murda bidness”. Homegirl grew up in Mulllumbimby, New South Wales, on a fucking farm. What the fuck was she murdering? Chickens? The hopes and dreams of her parents? What? You tell me. But she is flagrantly being dishonest and unauthentic. She sounds like all the mediocre parts of some of the premiere lady rappers throughout the years. She ain’t as cool in her delivery as Da Brat. She ain’t as raw and bold as Foxy or Trina. She ain’t as cute or skilled as Charli Baltimore. Iggy is what happens when generally mediocre white girls think they deserve to win and people who don’t know better let them. 

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Deadddd you said murdering chickens and the hopes and dreams of her parents

let em knowwwwww

Soulja boi tellem 🙌

AND THAT’S THE GOSPEL TRUTH

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 


sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

I am struck occasionally, usually while snuggling the cat, with our faith in domestication.

The cat is a small, ferocious predator, twelve pounds of…well, flab and fur, frankly, in Athena’s case, but what muscle there is is strong all out of proportion to her size. I have watched three 150+ primates try and fail to subdue a ten pound cat, and consider it not at all unusual. The cat is as flexible as a snake and as strong as an ox. She has quite dainty looking teeth and claws, but there’s nothing dainty about their ability to flay flesh from bone.

If the cat and I were in a duel to the death, I would almost certainly win. I am 15+ times larger than she is, after all, and while my teeth and claws are pathetic, I have prehensile hands capable of doing terrible things. But if I had to go in naked, as the cat does, (and assuming the cat was aware that she was going to have to kill me, and not taking a nap in the corner) I can pretty much guarantee it would be a Pyhrric victory. I’d look like I’d gone ten rounds with a wolverine. I would need stitches. A lot of stitches. Possibly a glass eye. And antibiotics by the truckload. It’d be a mess, and there would even be a chance of an upset if the cat managed to go face-hugger on me.

And yet, despite the knowledge of the shocking amount of damage my small predator could inflict, it never occurs to me to worry. I pick the cat up and she tucks her head under my chin and purrs, canine teeth centimeters from my jugular, and despite the fact that I am carrying a ruthless carnivore in a position where she could, with great ease, remove me from the gene pool, I am thoroughly content with the world. Even knowing full well that cats are not even a truly domesticated animal, that Athena’s kin might best be described as “consistently tamed,” my greatest concern is that my black tank top is now coated in white cat hairs.

We have such faith in the process of domestication, despite the sheer unnaturalness of what’s happening. Small predators do not curl up on the chests of large primates and purr in the wild. And yet, every now and again, generally when my small predator is purring on the chest of this particular primate, I think How strange, how strange… that we’re doing this, and even stranger, that we both take it completely for granted, and find nothing unusual in such a completely unlikely alliance.

Ursula Vernon (via aliothturtle)

I think about this often.

Reilly is the seatbelt police. I’m not wearing one here because I am foolish.

Reilly is the seatbelt police. I’m not wearing one here because I am foolish.

psyched-over-sykes:

CORGI HUSKY MIXED. THEY STAY THAT LITTLE IM DYINGGGG

psyched-over-sykes:

CORGI HUSKY MIXED. THEY STAY THAT LITTLE IM DYINGGGG

LUMPY SPACE PUG

queen-bitchass:

espressobean:

Man with suit made of Mentos is dunked in a tank full of Diet Coke.

DID HE SURVIVE